June 2023

This challenge is about not treating your relationships like a sports game by keeping points of who does what. Whoever said relationships were 50-50 was WRONG. Relationships are 100-100. We will always fall short so we could never be 100 together with the 50-50 mindset. If you each even give 75 each, together you are still above that 100 mark working together and picking up where the other is dropping.

For those married couples, if you constantly need to win an argument. Think about if you win, they lose. Did you marry a loser?

Here are your challenges:

Easy: Clear the scorecard. It doesn’t matter if they don’t do some task because more than likely they do a task that we don’t. Each of us has our own skills and abilities. For example, I’m usually the one that does the laundry and Joe is the one that fixes the electronics in our house. He isn’t good at folding and I am not technical at all. Then there are things that we split like if he makes dinner then I’ll do the dishes or vice versa.

Medium: Stop using “never” and “always.” These words are so definitive and just begging to have an argument with that person. Your challenge is to be aware of your words. When you hear yourself say it, stop and rephrase it. Turn “you never clean the toilets!” to “ from my point of view, I am usually the one that has to clean the toilets. Would you mind doing it this week?” Which one to do think your partner will respond to better?

Hard: Stop trying to win. There is no “I” in “we.” You don’t get trophies in relationships. Focus more on giving than getting. You would be amazed at the difference in your relationship.

We made it through the 10 health challenges and moving on the relationship challenges. Buckle up cause here we go!!

This week is going to challenge you to think about what you say in your relationships. Are you telling the honest truth or maybe telling white lies to make someone feel better or make yourself look better, or telling huge big fat lies because you don’t want someone to know the truth?

True authentic friendships are built on the truth. Those white lies add up and you get your story mixed up only to have someone call you out. We all know at least one person who does that. People are smart and can see those lies even if you don’t realize it.

Here’s your 3 levels of challenge this week:

Easy: Recognize when you are starting to tell a lie (big or small.). What are the circumstances? Where does this impulse come from? Does this fib help or hurt your relationship? Take a moment to acknowledge these questions and then be as truthful as possible.

Medium: Think about your relationships. Who can you be completely honest and vulnerable with? Who are your “fake friends” that you constantly tell white lies back and forth to make yourselves or each other look/feel better? Start to nuture those authentic relationships and pull away from those toxic relationships.

Hard: Tell the truth even when it hurts. It hurts sometimes to tell the truth especially when you completely screwed up. You maybe want to tell them most of what you screwed up and leave out the really screwed up parts. Being completely honest will not only help get that stuff off your chest, but also not be caught in a lie in the future.

Self care is a total buzzword, but take time this week to really think about what it means to you. What fills you up and makes you happy. Most people say they don’t have time for self care. If you are running on empty you CANNOT pour your true potential into other people and activities you love. Each person is different when it comes to what self care means to them and it can even change with each season of our lives. This is what this week’s challenge is all about. Finding what self care serves you right now in this season of life and actually doing it.

Easy: Pause and think about what puts the calm in the storm, fills you up, and makes you ready to take on the day? It can be different things for different purposes. Write down the activity AND why it helps you.

Medium: Take that list you just made and pick one thing and do it this week. Pick the one that brings you the most joy.

Hard: Make a plan to do those things on your list on a regular basis. Write it in your calendar like a doctors appointment because it is just as important.

This week’s challenge is stopping the “fat talk!” That cycle of negative thoughts you tell yourself when you look in the mirror. Let’s challenge ourselves this week with compliments about our body and who we are inside.

Easy: Look in the mirror and give yourself a compliment. You can find something you love about yourself.

Medium: Tell someone else the compliment you just gave yourself. It may feel like bragging. If you feel uncomfortable, tell them that you are working on accepting yourself and want to say something nice out loud in front of someone.

Hard: Write a compliment on a small post it note and put in on your bathroom mirror. Do this everyday for a month. At the end of the month, take a picture and use it for your gratitude.