July 2023

This week’s challenge is about putting our ego and excuses away and learning how to really apologize. We all make mistakes and learning to really apologize will leave you and the other person feel better.

Think about the last time you apologized to someone. Did it go something like:
“I’m sorry, but you were….”
“Well, I’m sorry you feel that way…”
“I was just kidding, geez, sorry…”
This probably left you both aggravated and didn’t resolve anything.

Next time, try this framework:
“I’m sorry for….This is wrong because…In the future I will….Will you forgive me?
Basically you are acknowledging what you did wrong and why it was wrong. Plus what you wi do differently going forward and requesting forgiveness.

Now on to our challenges:
Easy: Think about a recent apology you made. Was it a good or bad apology using the example and framework above? What could you have said differently?

Medium: Practice your apologies with body language to match. That means not crossing your arms, not staring at the floor, etc. It means looking them in the eyes so they know you are sincere with hands by your sides relaxed.

Hard: Now it’s time to put it into practice. You can use the last apology you messed up and do a redo with the person. Or the next time you need up, use the framework above.

This week is about being responsible for what we bring to the table with our actions and emotions. Relationships should not be transactional having the mindset if they do this then I’ll do that. You cannot control the other persons actions or emotions BUT you have 100% control over your actions and emotions. You choose how you show up in each interaction you have today. So how are you going to choose to show up?

Easy:
Change your mindset from 50/50 to 100/100. Give 100% effort to the relationship. If you both only try for 50 you will always fall short of 100. If you both try to hit the 100, you will more than likely always be above the 100.

Medium:
Keep your side of the street clean. Meaning worry about what you can control and do versus what other people aren’t doing. You cannot control other people so stop trying to.

Hard:
Be intentional with every interaction you have. If you walk into a room in a bad mood you will bring everyone else’s mood down. If you walk into the room smiling you will probably make someone else smile. We can’t control how others feel, but we do have influence with how we show up.

This week’s challenge is about forgiveness and letting go of the grudges you are holding.

Matthew 18:21-35 was one of the passages this week at church. It’s about how God has forgiven our sins so therefore we must forgive others. Which seems like a God moment since that’s this weeks chapter/challenge.

Who do you need to forgive? Who are you holding a grudge against that is probably hurting you more than them? Maybe it’s not someone, but you! God has forgiven you so stop beating yourself up inside. No one is perfect except Him.

Your challenge levels:
Easy: Really truly forgive someone that hurt you. Don’t just say it. Mean it.

Medium: Release that grudge you are holding in your heart. It will make you feel lighter.

Hard: Forgive yourself for something you are not so proud of or regret doing. Everyone makes mistakes. Learn from the mistake and move forward.

Just because you could do it all doesn’t mean you should. That hit me hard. We want to be known as having it all together. We are strong and independent and we got this. Yes we got it, but at what cost? The cost of being stressed out, lack of sleep, burn out, grouchy, etc….

This week I challenge you to not only ask for help, but also accept the help someone offers you. I know this is a shocker..people can’t read your mind. They see you struggling and they want to help. You know that feeling when someone asks you for help and you get that feeling of joy and connection. Don’t deprive them of that feeling. Give them a specific task that would really help you out.

Here’s your challenge levels:

Easy: Ask for help on one thing this week. Maybe it’s asking your spouse to make dinner or do the dishes. Kids clean up their rooms or mow the grass. A coworker to help you problem solve something you are struggling with.

Medium: Accept an offer of help. When someone asks, how can I help? Give them a task they can help with.

Hard: We all have a list of things to do this week whether it is written down or in your head. At the beginning of the week think about what the people around you could help you with to make your week easier. Then go through the list with your spouse and kids to divide and conquer. Let them pick it. They will feel a sense of ownership and connection to helping in the family.

A little late, but it’s holiday weekend  and the perfect time for this challenge. This week is about actively listening when someone is talking. Actually hearing what they are saying instead of thinking of the next thing you are going to say, assuming you know what they will say, or playing on your phone while they are talking.
We are all guilty of doing this and we also know how it feels on the receiving end of it. So this week is about being intentional and connecting. Per scientific studies we only have about a 8 second attention span so being intentional and actually focusing is critical.

Which challenge are you taking on:
Easy: Stop thinking about what you will say next. Focus on what the person is saying.

Medium: Single task instead of multi task. Instead of being in a meeting taking notes, checking email, and thinking about dinner try to be in a meeting focused on what they are saying and jotting notes only to keep your focus. Writing notes triggers your brain to remember and it keeps you focused.

Hard: Use 2:1 ratio. You ever been in a conversation and the person just keeps talking and doesn’t let you get a word in? Don’t be that person…lol. Listen twice as much as you talk. If the person doesn’t know what to say ask questions and truly listen to their answers.