August 2023

Changing focus from relationships to finances for these next 10 challenges. Yes…the dreaded F word…. At least that was what I used to think. Money was this thing we didn’t talk about and honestly it’s still hard to talk about. Once you have the mindset that you control your money and not your money controlling you it does get easier. In order to do that you have to intentionally choose where you spend your money. You need to stop mindlessly spending without realizing it. But first let’s focus on the D word…debt.

Easy challenge: Don’t spend any money for one day. Instead of spending the money, write down how much you saved for the day. For example, morning coffee ($5), lunch ($15), soft drink and snack at break ($5), dinner at restaurant ($30). That’s $55 you would have spent when you could have planned ahead and made coffee at home. Packed leftovers for lunch. Then made dinner at home with the food you already have.

Medium Challenge: now that you actually realize how much you would spend. Cut back on this spending and reallocate it to your debt.

Hard Challenge: Pick one debt and an amount you want to pay off by the end of the month. I’m a Dave Ramsey fan so my advice is to pick the lowest debt amount. This way you can see progress and knock them out. Using what you learned in easy/medium challenges, make the plan on how to get that amount and do it.

Last challenge for the relationship part. Yes! You made it to challenge #10.
This week is about being intentional about our own wants & needs. It’s about making sure that you have your together time with others, but you also make time to be alone with someone that you enjoy. It’s your time to fill your cup back up so you are your best self with others.

Challenge Levels:
Easy: Do one thing by yourself that you completely enjoy. It could be sitting outside reading a book, going for a hike, and on and on. It’s something you do for you. It’s your me time.

Medium: Do something out of your comfort zone. Something that you always wanted to do, but feel like others around you would judge you or make fun of you. Or trade turns with your significant other or best friend to pick something you have never done and do it together. You will find you like to do more things than you think. It’s opening infinite possibilities.

Hard: Don’t rely for your significant other or your best friend to complete you. You need to stay connected to what makes you, you. It’s easy to lose who you are sometimes when you keep going with the crowd or what the other person wants. You don’t have to make decisions and sometimes that feels great. Don’t get too comfortable. Be yourself. That’s what attracted them to you in the first place.

This week’s challenge is about trusting what our gut is telling us instead of always listening to those around us. Listening to our gut sounds simple, but can be complicated in real life. Learning to key into your instincts and understand the difference between emotional response and true intuition is challenging.

Easy: Think about someone you trust and how that trust makes you feel. That’s the feeling you want. If someone doesn’t make you feel this way your gut is telling you to back away.

Medium: Give yourself space and time for those difficult decisions between emotion and gut. Take a night to sleep on it.

Hard: Follow through on that decision you have taken the time to think about. This is the hardest because it might not be the most popular decision with the people around you. You need to do what is right for you though.

This week is about staying curious instead of furious. In every relationship we go through a time of irritation, annoyance, hurt feelings. This week is about not assuming you understand what the other person is thinking and feeling. It may come as a shock, but no 2 people think the same way in every situation .

The Easy Challenge:
Check your assumptions in situations you are not fully happy with. Ask them, “What did you mean by that?” Or “Why do you feel that way?” And then actually really listen to the answer. This is how we grow as a person and friend.

The Medium Challenge:
Think of a situation where you don’t want to do something. Now think about really why you don’t want to do it. Maybe it’s a get together every week that you would rather go once a month, but you feel guilty. Invite your curiosity to see what emotions come up and why.

The Hard Challenge:
Actually practice curiosity in conflict. Example from the book is where she was working on an almost finished project & IT said they had to revert back a section to an old school method. She completely shut them down, but her teammate went over & discussed with IT and they came up with a solution that would benefit both. It’s about taking the extra effort to be curious to understand the other point of view and find a happy place together.