This challenge is about not treating your relationships like a sports game by keeping points of who does what. Whoever said relationships were 50-50 was WRONG. Relationships are 100-100. We will always fall short so we could never be 100 together with the 50-50 mindset. If you each even give 75 each, together you are still above that 100 mark working together and picking up where the other is dropping.
For those married couples, if you constantly need to win an argument. Think about if you win, they lose. Did you marry a loser?
Here are your challenges:
Easy: Clear the scorecard. It doesn’t matter if they don’t do some task because more than likely they do a task that we don’t. Each of us has our own skills and abilities. For example, I’m usually the one that does the laundry and Joe is the one that fixes the electronics in our house. He isn’t good at folding and I am not technical at all. Then there are things that we split like if he makes dinner then I’ll do the dishes or vice versa.
Medium: Stop using “never” and “always.” These words are so definitive and just begging to have an argument with that person. Your challenge is to be aware of your words. When you hear yourself say it, stop and rephrase it. Turn “you never clean the toilets!” to “ from my point of view, I am usually the one that has to clean the toilets. Would you mind doing it this week?” Which one to do think your partner will respond to better?
Hard: Stop trying to win. There is no “I” in “we.” You don’t get trophies in relationships. Focus more on giving than getting. You would be amazed at the difference in your relationship.