Starting out with the first habit in the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is being proactive. What does this even mean?
It’s starts with the limiting belief that we are conditioned to respond in a particular way to a particular stimulus. Such as the Pavlov’s experiments with dogs. But here’s the thing…we are humans. We are God’s creation that gave us a highly intelligent mind that comes with the freedom to choose. You get to choose/decide how the situation will affect you and how you react to it.
This self awareness that we have also comes with imagination. We get imagine our future and make steps towards that future (proactiveness). We have the independent will to act how we want to show up in life with the conscience of knowing what is right and wrong to guide that behavior.
Being proactive means taking responsibility for your life. It’s about not blaming circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for your behavior. Your behavior is a product of your own choices based on your values.
Use the concept of your “R & I”. Resourcefulness and Initiative.
Let’s talk about the language we use. How often do you catch yourself saying “I have to..” to an activity. My challenge to you is to turn that around. Instead, try saying, “I get to…”. This helps with work, but also the chores around the house. Bonus points – throw in some gratitude.
Example:
I have to wash dishes.
I get to wash the dishes because we had a homemade meal at home. I’m so thankful that we were able to sit down as a family and talk.
Exercise: For the next week, be self aware of what you say and what you think. Maybe even write down each time you say I have to. Then think of a I get to response instead.
The last concept for today is your circle of concern vs your circle of influence. The picture above shows a great illustration of how the two circles interact whether you are being reactive focused or proactive focused.
When you allow others concerns and other things out of your control to be the center of your focus, our circle of influence is super small. There is limited things we can do and probably feel overwhelmed.
If your focus is on the things that you can control, our circle of influence grows. You know those people that you just want to be around. They have this energy that just makes you happy. These are the proactive focused people.
Exercise: Think about your life and maybe even different situations that are draining your energy. Draw your circles on where you are at currently. What steps can you take to make that circle of influence bigger? What boundaries do you need to put in your life to make that happen?