Stacy

#106 – The Magic Notebook

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The week’s challenge involves getting a fun notebook! If you are not a paper/pencil kind of person – find a great app like one note to start your notebook.

The challenge is ending your day with journaling. This could be writing down what happened during the day, the emotions you are feeling, your worries, etc. Basically anything that comes into your mind – write it down. If you try and struggle with this, set a timer. Start with 1 minute. Don’t think about it – just start doodling if you have to.

We all have busy lives with lots of things going on. At the end of the day, we need to just “brain dump.” This is one of my favorite things to do especially with to do lists. Just write it all down and get it out of your head. Having your head cleared of all the things allows you to settle down to a good nights sleep.

Here are some more journal ideas:

– Write down specific things you were grateful for today.

– What is something you are most proud of today?

– What is something that didn’t go the way you wanted it to go? How could you have reacted differently?

– What are the most important things you need to get done tomorrow? What can stand in your way? What will you do if that happens?

– Reflect on your day – Who made you happy today? What did they do? Who did you make smile today?

#105 Do It Anyway

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When you are committed to a challenging goal, there WILL be days that “you don’t feel like it…”. That’s what this week’s challenge is all about.

Last week we made sure we were “committed” and not “interested” in the goal that you set. Now we are going to make sure you can stay committed even when you don’t feel like it. The trick to doing this is to take the action anyway. After about 5 minutes of doing the action, your attitude will 95% of the time turn around from not feeling it to I’m doing it. When you let the feelings take over and don’t do the action you will 100% regret it later.

You committed to the goal and just tell yourself I can and I will.

Committed Means:

– Sticking with your plans no matter what

– Taking action whether you feel like doing it

– Know that if you stay motivated, results will follow

– Take responsibility for your actions

– Keep going in spite of challenges and setbacks

CHALLENGE: Make a list of actions you plan to stick with this week regardless of how you feel.

Potiphar’s Wife – Bored to Distraction

Leave a Comment / Growing in Faith, Marriage / By

Being bored often leads to temptation. Temptation usually comes in the form of new and exciting. It’s something that gets us out of boredom that our lives can become. Temptation can be good as it can get you out of your comfort zone to join a group or do that thing that you always wanted to do. It can also be bad where you may do something you later regret. It can happen to any woman every day with tragic consequences.

”So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do.“
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭5‬:‭15‬-‭17‬ ‭NLT‬‬

So let’s do a little back story. Potiphar was the captain of the palace guards which means he was a well respected man. He bought Joseph as a slave when Joseph’s brothers sold him due to jealousy. (More of that back story read Genesis chapter 37) Potiphar brought home this handsome slave and made him responsible for everything he owned. It says in Genesis 39:6 that he only worried about food which probably means he may not be giving attention to his wife.

”So Potiphar gave Joseph complete administrative responsibility over everything he owned. With Joseph there, he didn’t worry about a thing—except what kind of food to eat! Joseph was a very handsome and well-built young man,“
‭‭Genesis‬ ‭39‬:‭6‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Now Potiphar’s wife is not innocent in this situation, but she was probably bored and this Joseph was handsome. And he rejected her…. Sometimes when you get rejected it makes you want it more. It’s now a challenge to get that temptation.

I have empathy for her because I spent my youth chasing and being with the bad boys. And the funny thing is that is how Joe (my husband) got my attention in the first place. I was hanging out with his sister and he came to ISU for a concert. I remember sitting in the food court area and he ignored me the entire time. Guys did not ignore me…. That got my attention and made we want to get to know him. He was a challenge where if he did act interested I may have just ignored him. God works in funny ways like that.

Back to Potiphar’s wife’s story where she comes up with a plan to get what she wants. She sends her servants away. When we don’t want someone catching us doing something bad, we usually push them away. We don’t want to be judged because we know we shouldn’t be doing it in the first place.

Lesson 1: Don’t push your friends away when you are tempted. Bring them closer and lean on them. Have that authentic vulnerable conversation.

Tip: When you are at work, leave the office door open. Don’t go to lunch, dinner, coffee with just the two of you. One of the guys I work with actually did this with me. I invited him to coffee during covid and he brought his wife every time. At first I thought it was weird and now I have more respect for him.

Joseph being a man of God rejected her, but she somehow managed to grab his coat. (Joseph cannot keep his coats….). She made up a story to make her look innocent. She had to cover up what she knew she shouldn’t be doing in the first place.

Lesson 2: When we stumble, confession beats a cover-up. How easy it is to blame someone else when we’re tempted to sin. It’s “his” fault, “her” fault, or when all else fails, it’s God’s fault. Potiphar may not have seen through his wife’s lies, but the Lord we love looks straight into our hearts. Instead of going for a cover-up, let’s confess and repent.

Inspired From: Bad Girls of the Bible by Liz Curtis Higgs

A Problem, A Challenge, Or An Opportunity

Leave a Comment / Changing Your Life, Leadership / By

We all run into things that don’t go our way every day. It’s how we CHOOSE to see those things depends on our mindset. Yes! You GET to choose how you show up to each and every situation in your life. This is one of the things we have control over. You control YOUR reactions and actions.

Your mindset allows you to see in 3 potential ways:

A Problem

You say to yourself, “How am I ever going to get out of this situation or get this done….”

You focus on the problem and not the solution which most of the time makes the problem seem so much bigger.

A Challenge

You have the mindset of solving this problem will be fun. You go into problem solving mode. You pump yourself up and go for the challenge.

An Opportunity

This is taking the challenge mindset with an upgrade. You not only focus on the solution, but also focus on the long term goal. What will you learn by solving this? How can this make you better?

What mindset will you choose?

#104 – Interested or Committed

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We set goals with the best intentions and then after a few weeks those good intentions become just that….good intentions.

This week I want to challenge you to really think about what you want to achieve and WHY you want to achieve that goal. That “why” is how you go from being interested to being committed.

Interested = Good Intentions

When you are interested in a goal you will tend to stay with that goal until something better comes along. You are interested in losing weight, but someone brought doughnuts into work. You are interested in reading more books, but a new Netflix series just came out. You are interested in getting up and working out, but your bed is just so warm and comfy. Did I make any of you go…ouch!

When you are interested you depend on seeing results right away. As long as you see results you stay motivated. You hit a plateau or results are not fast enough you throw that goal out the window.

When we struggle, we tend to use the blame game. The “if only…” starts to come out. Your challenge is to turn those “if only’s” to a “I will..”

Committed = No Matter What

This week’s challenge is about truly committing to the goal you set. When you truly commit you have an entirely different outlook. Being committed means you don’t let those distractions be just that…distractions away from your goal. You stick with it no matter what.

Having the no matter what attitude means you have a game plan. You think ahead of what will distract you and plan what you will do if that happens. Then you are not thinking about impulse, but more following through with what you already planned to do. It is seriously satisfying when that happens. It shows how strong you can be. And it if is still hard, repeat why you are doing that goal in the first place.

Make the why stronger than the distractions!

#103 – I Used to be that Way

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How many of us made a New Year’s resolution? This year I am going to…. Now that we are in the 3rd week of January, how many of us have already gave up on that goal? Or even worse we never even made a goal in the first place because you knew it wouldn’t last because it never has before.

This week’s challenge is about changing that mindset.

Your Past Does Not Determine Your Future!

So what that you didn’t follow through last time. Just because you did last time doesn’t mean you will this time. You get to CHOOSE your actions and decisions.

I used to be that way, but now I am different!

Repeat that statement to yourself. You are different than yesterday. You can do the hard things.

Here’s your challenge this week:

If you didn’t set goals for yourself yet – do that now!

– Make a list of any fears or negative behaviors that have hurt you meeting your goals in the past.

– Read each of those items from your list out loud and then repeat “I used to be that way, but now I am different!”

– Then put actions to that statement. I used to (old behavior) but now I (new behavior).

– Save that paper somewhere and anytime you feel like giving up – read those statements you wrote.

#102 – Leading with Integrity

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Where ever the paths of your life take you, the number one thing to hold onto is a sense of integrity. Integrity means waking up each morning with intention to be your best self, making decisions throughout the day with honesty and following your core values, and ultimately being a positive force in others lives.

Integrity is something that you can control. No one can take it away from you unless you let them. It should be your compass in times of struggle, confusion, and difficulty. In those times is when you need to lean into who you are.

Now on to the weekly challenges! This will be the last one from this series.

Easy Challenge: Appreciate, Thank, and Celebrate others. It means so much to others when you acknowledge their hard work. Even in the small victories celebrate them.

Medium Challenge: Hold yourself accountable. Be the first to admit you are wrong and apologize. Part of leading with integrity includes mistakes and that is supposed to happen. If you aren’t making mistakes you are not getting out of your comfort zone. So when it happens don’t play the blame game and be a victim. Take responsibility, learn from it, and move forward. FAIL FORWARD!

Hard Challenge: Make integrity the default choice. The right way is usually not the easiest way to go. You may go against what the world is telling you is acceptable. Hold tight to your principles and what you believe. Finish this sentence: “I’m someone who…..” with a phrase related to your definition of integrity. When you are faced with a tough situation repeat that phrase to yourself to make sure you are following your values.

#101 Rethink Your Approach to Mentorship

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With the start of the year you have probably made some type of goal for 2024. Hopefully it is a big lofty butterflies in your stomach goal. If you made that BIG goal you may be thinking where to start. That’s where mentoring comes in. It can be difficult to find who/what you are looking for.

Easy Challenge: Do some research. Find some podcasts, blogs, websites that have topics related to your goal.

Medium Challenge: Look at the people around you. Who already knows how you communicate and contribute? Who trusts you? Who is likely to believe you’ll put their feedback to good use?

Hard Challenge: Come up with game plan on who you want to ask and the questions you anticipate to ask. Good mentors are usually busy so make sure you use their time wisely.

Perception Shift

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The next couple months under the “Changing Your Life” topic I will be giving you my takeaways from the 7 Habits of Effective People book.  I read the book last year and thought it was so good that I bought both the boys’ copies of the one for teenagers with the workbook.

I’m reading it again this year with the intention of coming away with new actions that I can implement.  It’s interesting how the things you didn’t take away from it the first time stick out this time based on how you have grown and learned.

Here we go…..

Change Perception to Change Ourselves

If we want to change the situation, we first have to change ourselves.  And to change ourselves effectively, we have to change our perceptions.  Our perception is what we communicate out to the world.

Our paradigms, correct or incorrect, are the sources of our attitudes and behaviors, and ultimately our relationship with others.

Paradigm:  it’s the way we “see” the world – not in terms of our visual sense of sight, but in terms of perceiving, understanding, interpreting.  It’s the map of how we live our life.

This example truly explains it better:

Think of trying to drive to a city without having the right directions or wrong map:

  • Change Behavior:  you could try harder, be more diligent, double your speed.  But your efforts may just get you to the wrong place faster.
  • Change Attitude:  think more positive.  You may not get to the right place, but perhaps you wouldn’t care.  Your attitude would be so positive, you’d be happy wherever you were.
  • The point is you would still be lost.  It isn’t about your behavior or attitude.  It has everything to do with having the wrong map/directions.

If you have the right map:

  • Diligence becomes important so when you encounter frustrating obstacles along the way, then attitude can make a real difference.
  • The first and most important requirement is the accuracy of the map.

In our head we have 2 maps:

    • Map of the way things are (realities)
    • Map of the way things should be (values)
  • We interpret everything we experience through these mental maps.
  • We rarely question their accuracy and assume that the way we see things is the way they really are or they way they should be
  • Our attitudes and behaviors grow out of those assumptions.  It’s the way we think and act.

It is difficult to be objective because of the maps we have in our head.  It’s being aware of what our maps or assumptions, and the extent to which we have been influenced by our experience, the more we can take responsibility to test them against others realities by listening and being open their perceptions.  This gets you a broader view of the world.

Let’s do an exercise:

First, look at this picture.  What do you see?

Now look at this picture.  What do you see?

You probably see a beautiful woman with her face tilted away from us, right?  What if I told you it was an old woman with her face looking over?  Don’t see it.  Look at this next picture and go back to the one above.  Do you see it now?

Our perception changes when we open our eyes to the possibilities of how others see the world.

If we want to make relatively minor changes in our lives, we can perhaps appropriately focus on our attitudes and behaviors.  But if we want to make significant change, we need to work on our basic paradigms.

 

#100 – Take No Shortcuts

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This week’s challenge comes at the end of the year where you may be setting goals for 2024.  While setting these goals we need to keep in mind that there are no shortcuts to getting lasting results.  Taking a shortcut may get you there quicker, but if you haven’t changed your habits you will slide right back to where you are now.  Plus asking people too often with easy questions will make them potentially avoid you.

Easy Challenge:  Identify what goals you want to achieve in 2024.  Apply the SMART method when making your goal.  Be specific on what you want.  Make sure you can measure success to know you are staying on track.  Make sure it is attainable and realistic.  Having a stretch goal is good, but you need to make sure you can create a plan to achieve it.  Set a time for when you want to have it done.

Medium Challenge:  Sometimes we don’t know where to even start.  Before asking others, do your homework by searching online or doing some critical thinking yourself.  Everyone is busy and time is valuable.  Make sure you do your part before taking someone else’s time on something you could do yourself.  Create a plan on how you can achieve the goal and identify the gaps you have.

Hard Challenge:  Now that you have your goals and have done everything you could on your side you are ready to ask for help.  Make a list of questions and outline what information you need.  Use the other persons time wisely so they won’t think twice about helping you again.