Changing Your Life

Identifying and pursuing your ambitions is tough. There will be self doubt and wondering if you should really be doing this. It takes courage to keep going and clarity with self reflection to make sure you are on the right path.

Three Questions

• Who Are You?
• Where Are You?
• What Do You Want?

“Organizing your thoughts around these three questions will help you accomplish in the future what you haven’t been able to make happen in the past. They can be a cocktail of identity, desire, purpose, rejection, life experience, struggle, fear, hope, and longing rolled into one.”

“Start with acknowledging that deeper longing within you. If I had to take a guess, that’s why you’re here. You can feel it. I don’t even have to define what it is—you know exactly what I’m talking about. It is that “something more to life” rumbling around in your gut, that tug drawing you toward a scary, audacious dream.”

“Once we get real with where we actually are and our desperate need for God’s help, He’s got a person He can do something with, and He’ll drop the people you’ll need in your path to help. Your job is to find them.”

Finding that person usually comes when we least expect it. God’s plan was in motion before you even started to think about that dream. What is your job is to ask for help. This can be difficult especially if you are one of those independent people or maybe just have no idea where to even start. It starts with telling people about your dream. In order to that you have to be vulnerable and put yourself out there.

Yesterday was all about failure. “This is something that happens to our best ideas all the time. We’re so close to them, or we’ve ignored them for so long, that we can’t even see them for what they are anymore. Then just when we think we have corralled them, they change. When this happens, don’t get bummed out; get current with your new ambitions. I know it feels like a hassle, but it’s a good thing. We’re supposed to be new creations, and there will be nothing new about us if everything remains the same.”

“No more doing what merely occupies, entertains, and numbs us? It’s time to go after your dreams, your faith, and your ambitions with gusto.”

It’s Just Simply Time…..

Note: The excerpts all came out of Dream Big Chapter 3. I honestly couldn’t write it better than Bob so you got a mix of Bob & Stacy today 🙂

I absolutely totally completely hate failure. Yep…you read that right. I don’t like to fail, BUT I know failure is part of the journey of life. If you don’t fail then it means you are not trying anything new. Although I don’t like to fail (who does…) I know it means growth.

Fail Forward

Getting out of your comfort zone means that you are going into your unknown. It means that something will not go according to your plan no matter how perfect the plan was. When this happens you fail forward. It means learning what went wrong and what could you do differently in the future. Learning is what makes us grow and move on to the next “out of our comfort zone” experience.

Acknowledge the Failure

This is where you have to be self aware and retrospective. If you think you are perfect, you are not….you are human. Being able to admit your mistake is what helps you learn and reach your dream.

What was your last mistake? What did you learn? What will you do different now?

In the movie Gremlins, there are these cute little animals with the warning not to feed them…. Why? Because they turn into…

This is exactly what we do in our minds with our thoughts. Our mind is a POWERFUL place. Your internal world of thoughts becomes your external world. If you CHOOSE to feed the negative and self doubt, your cute little gremlin will become the scary monster. Those thoughts do not serve you. Yes the world around us can be bad, but you get to decide how you think and feel.

Think of every negative thought or doubt as a drop of water. Those drops of water add up pretty quickly until you are drowning in your own ocean. I know that sounds harsh, but it is reality.

Who do you hang around with? Do they give you energy or drain you of your energy? Do they help fill you up or tear you down? I’m not saying you can’t support your friends going through some tough time, but don’t let their tough time become your tough time.

Don’t let their tough time become your tough time.

Your world is how you make it. Choose to show up every day excited about something that day. If you focus on the positive, you will see more positive things. If you focus on the negative, you will see all the bad.

The direction you focus your life is the direction you will go. What will you choose?

Most of us have a thousand things running through our head of things we need to do and places we need to go. You may feel like you are living in chaos with no light at the end. You don’t feel confident you have it together, you feel like you are taking it hour by hour or even minute by minute. You feel stressed out. You have big goals you want to achieve, but the thought of it just makes you want to crawl back into bed.

Does this sound like you?

This is where a Sunday planning technique comes in. It sets you up for success and makes you feel less overwhelmed. It takes 30-60 minutes of your day that you won’t believe how much better you feel.

Here’s what you do:

• Review your calendar of what meetings, appointments, events that are going on this week. Do you need to prep for meetings and who’s taking the kids/when?
• Meal plan – based on what’s going on each night & even the weather. If it’s nice, you might want to grill out. If it’s going to be rainy, maybe plan a casserole. If you have a busy night maybe plan a crockpot meal that you can start before work or make it a leftover night. Maybe you plan a night of getting take out. This planning helps so when you get home, it’s not another decision of what are we having for dinner or do we have the ingredients. Bonus to plan/meal prep your breakfast & lunches.
• Write down all the things that you want to accomplish this week. You can make 2 lists – 1 for work and 1 for home. Think about how much time each item will take. Breakdown the tasks to 1 hour or less increments. I call this my brain dump. Notice I said “want” and not “must” so don’t get overwhelmed. The whole point is to just get it out of your head.
• Prioritize the list you just wrote. Either do a A, B, C or even you can number them. It’s however your mind works bests to prioritize. Not everything can be an A or B. If everything is a priority then nothing is a priority.
• Review each day to determine how many hours are “open” to get the stuff done off the list. Again, you can separate work and home.
• Then it’s just a plug and chug. Start with your highest priority items and plug them into your calendar starting with Monday. Make sure to give yourself some time for flexibility as life will happen so don’t plan every minute of everyday. Don’t forget to put some “me time” in there to enjoy life. Note: you will more than likely not fit everything on your list in the calendar. THAT IS THE POINT! You want to work on the most important things first. Stop working on those low priority items..they can wait.

At the end of the week, you will feel accomplished and be amazed at how much you got done. Each day you will have the plan so you aren’t scrambling each day to figure it out.

Taking that 60 minutes each Sunday will make the difference between living a life of chaos/overwhelmed to confident and relaxed.

Some people call me crazy for moving my body everyday with either a Bodi workout and/or walking workout. As we get older, our body craves that movement. I can tell when I didn’t do my workout in the morning by feeling tired and just plain stiff. On those days it’s like counting down the hours until work is over so I can hit play.

I found this article that I thought explained it really well: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/rest-rust-motion-lotion-carrie-seifert-cscs

“Resting pain away is the rust that keeps the body from fully healing and moving freely. Motion is the lotion that strengthens the body for increases in load and stress. Avoiding areas of soreness or discomfort can lead to disuse and weakness, which only perpetuates the root cause of pain.”

When you first start working out, you WILL be sore. That’s just the simple truth. It’s having the gumption to do it again. You will be surprised at how much better you feel after you work out when you are sore. It’s like your body says “Thank You!”

Another great idea from the website is the ABC’s of pain management and continued wellness. This is especially why I love the Bodi workouts. I pick a program and just hit play. The program already includes a calendar of what I need to do that day so I’m not overworking any muscles and has recovery workouts to make sure I am getting the balance and stretching needed.

** I am not a Bodi coach anymore, but absolutely completely recommend it if you are looking for at home workouts.

You know when you set these good intentions of doing something, but then you just….don’t. Well gang, that’s where I have been with this Simply 75 challenge. If you have been killing it – KEEP GOING!! For those who have been half-assing it like me…it’s time to reflect on why and start again.

That’s what today’s topic is all about. Giving yourself the grace to say “it’s okay” and the discipline to figure out what wasn’t working and then try something new. That’s what life is all about. This is how we continue to grow.

Grace means that all of your mistakes now serve a purpose instead of serving shame.

This is my second retry at this challenge. I’ve been killing it with my workouts because that’s almost a sub-conscious habit I have where it’s not even a choice in my head. I have been hit and miss on the reading and tracking food because I honestly just didn’t feel like it. And you know what…that’s okay! That’s where you have to give yourself grace, but you also have to do the hard work of reflection.

Questions to ask:

• Do you have a set time that you do the activity?
• Do you have a plan on what you are going to that day?
• Do you have a way to track the activity?
• What is making you not want to do that activity?
• Why did you want to this challenge in the first place?
• What are you hoping to accomplish with this challenge?

Some of those questions are easy to answer. Others may not be so easy.

This challenge WILL improve your life IF you are willing to do the work. Now get reflecting and start again!

“We all have dreams. But in order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline, and effort.” Jesse Owens

Sometimes life just gets in the way and things happen out of your control. That’s what happened this week to me. I was going strong with the Simply 75 challenge until I hurt my bicep muscle Monday afternoon. After spending all evening into early morning in the ER and then trying to do all the things, life just got in the way. BUT it’s at these times where the challenge is even more important.

It’s about discipline even when things get hard.

So I am giving myself today to regroup and tomorrow I am back on like Donkey Kong. In true 75 hard fashion the days start over again so back to Day 1.

Workout Shift

My workout plan is definitely having to change with my bicep injury. I finished the Bodyweight Bootcamp program today (with modifications this week) and planned to start the Chop Wood Carry Water program, but that has weights. So I am shifting my plan (hence the SHIFT HAPPENS title) to PiYo. I’ve never done the program before, but it doesn’t have weights and I plan to modify depending on how my arm feels. I am also starting PT on Monday so that should help with the arm.

And the Rest Stay the Same

The rest of the challenge stays exactly the same. Shifting doesn’t mean throwing in the towel or making it easier because life is hard. It means shifting the things that HAVE to shift. Keeping the things that are hard, but doable with intentionality.

As a refresher – the challenge includes:

• Work Out Daily
• Drink at Least 64 oz of water
• Track what you eat
• Read 10 Pages
• Journal

Why Are These Important?

These 5 things are important because they are simple to do and can improve your attitude, your body, and life in general.

Your body needs to move and needs to be fueled with good nutritious food and water.

Your growth happens with learning new things and applying those things in your life. Reading those 10 pages gives you that small boost of growth. Reflection and just being able to write down the things going through your head is the key to the journaling.

Starting out with the first habit in the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is being proactive. What does this even mean?

It’s starts with the limiting belief that we are conditioned to respond in a particular way to a particular stimulus. Such as the Pavlov’s experiments with dogs. But here’s the thing…we are humans. We are God’s creation that gave us a highly intelligent mind that comes with the freedom to choose. You get to choose/decide how the situation will affect you and how you react to it.

This self awareness that we have also comes with imagination. We get imagine our future and make steps towards that future (proactiveness). We have the independent will to act how we want to show up in life with the conscience of knowing what is right and wrong to guide that behavior.

Being proactive means taking responsibility for your life. It’s about not blaming circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for your behavior. Your behavior is a product of your own choices based on your values.

Use the concept of your “R & I”. Resourcefulness and Initiative.

Let’s talk about the language we use. How often do you catch yourself saying “I have to..” to an activity. My challenge to you is to turn that around. Instead, try saying, “I get to…”. This helps with work, but also the chores around the house. Bonus points – throw in some gratitude.

Example:

I have to wash dishes.

I get to wash the dishes because we had a homemade meal at home. I’m so thankful that we were able to sit down as a family and talk.

Exercise: For the next week, be self aware of what you say and what you think. Maybe even write down each time you say I have to. Then think of a I get to response instead.

The last concept for today is your circle of concern vs your circle of influence. The picture above shows a great illustration of how the two circles interact whether you are being reactive focused or proactive focused.

When you allow others concerns and other things out of your control to be the center of your focus, our circle of influence is super small. There is limited things we can do and probably feel overwhelmed.

If your focus is on the things that you can control, our circle of influence grows. You know those people that you just want to be around. They have this energy that just makes you happy. These are the proactive focused people.

Exercise: Think about your life and maybe even different situations that are draining your energy. Draw your circles on where you are at currently. What steps can you take to make that circle of influence bigger? What boundaries do you need to put in your life to make that happen?

With the Simply 75 challenge, it is a perfect time to get back to the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. This challenge is about creating the habits that build the kind of character you want to have.

Habits are patterns we do (consciously and subconsciously) throughout our day that express our character and make us effective or ineffective.

The habits we form are based on these three parts: knowledge, desire, and skill. Knowledge is what to do and the why to do it. Skill is the how to do it and desire is the motivation and the want to do it. In order to remove a habit or to create one, we have to utilize all three of these components to our advantage.

If you want to change a habit, here is a great place to start. Take a closer look at the following diagram and ask yourself these questions:

Knowledge – What do I need to learn? What resources do I have available to me? Why do I want this change – is it for me or for someone else?

Desire – Why do I want this change? What can I do to strengthen my motivation? Who can I enroll in my cause? Who can I ask to support me?

Skills – What is my plan to overcome/change? What skills do I need to gain? Who can teach me what I don’t already know?

Do you remember Aesop’s fable of the goose and the golden egg?

One morning a farmer finds a glittering, golden-colored egg sitting beneath his goose. At first he thinks it is a prank, but he decides to have the egg appraised just in case.

To the farmer’s amazement, the egg is pure gold!

And each morning his prize goose continues laying the valuable eggs.

The farmer becomes extremely wealthy. But he also becomes greedy and impatient.

One day in his frustration the farmer kills the goose, hoping to get all of the golden eggs at once from inside the goose.

As we all know, the farmer finds nothing. And now, he has neither a goose nor any more golden eggs.

The Moral of the Story

The moral of this story is normally about the danger of greed. The farmer grasped for too much wealth in too short of a time.

But, there is a broader lesson about balance. There is always a tension between results and the ability to produce those results (aka effectiveness).  

The P/PC Balance

The P/PC Balance is about balancing between two extremes:

• Extreme #1: Focusing only on golden eggs or producing short-term results. In the long-run, you lose your ability to produce results at all because you never nurture your production capacity.
• Extreme #2: Focusing only on the goose or production capacity. Without short-term results, you will not survive (literally or figuratively) to see the long-term payoff.

Either extreme is a problem.  So, you have to strive for a balance between the two. And that delicate balance is the essence of effectiveness.

You have to work at this balance if you want to be consistently effective in any area of your life.  This includes your job, ability to earn money, investing, relationships, and health.

That’s what I told myself forever. I have always been a cat person since I was little. My sister in laws all had dogs and I never got it. My thoughts were: dogs smell, they are needy, and they are so much work…..

Then about 1.5 years ago we dog sat for Sammy while Joe’s Mom was in Hawaii for a month and a half. Gotta be honest, I was not happy or excited about it. I bought covers for the furniture so they wouldn’t get fur and dog smell on them. The first couple days were hell…. Sammy and the cats were constantly fighting and she wouldn’t sleep in her crate. After about a week, she started to grow on me. Then we became hiking buddies. By the time she left, I actually kinda halfway missed her. Then we dog sat again, and I completely missed her.

Finally 4 months ago (Dec 19th), I was scrolling through Facebook and there were these puppies. Now I have been sending Joe pics of different dogs for about a year with an definitive no from him. Mainly because the cats hate dogs, but also the work/time needed. Shockingly he said (and I quote), “inquire if you want to.” Well I took this is as a YES! And ran with it. We picked up our 12 week old Piper that night. I spent my lunch hour buying all the things so we were ready for her.

If you been anywhere near me these last 4 months, you would have heard me mention her at least once. She is seriously like my baby. I show pictures to whoever will look and tell stories of the cute funny things she does. Yeah…I am that person now. I’m the person that I didn’t get a few years ago. Dogs have this way of just melting your heart.

We go on walks everyday (as long as it isn’t raining) and hiking at Mt. St Francis woods (that place is peaceful and with super nice trails). Plus get treats afterward – me a fruit smoothie and Piper gets a pup cup.

We graduated the beginner obedience program.

She is seriously the sweetest dog that loves everybody and thinks every person wants to pet her and every dog wants to play with her.

Joe says she is definitely my dog since she started putting herself to bed on a couple nights. (Yes…she has a teddy bear.)